The reality is....
Today started out normal, alarm went off at 6am I snoozed it until 6:15. Hard to get up as usual, got the boys up and ready and we were out the door for school and work on time. Even made it to the school early! It wasn't until I got to work that things started to go down hill. Sitting quietly at my desk trying to stay as busy as possible. Thoughts just circling my head almost all at once. So many things going on, so many emotions hitting, smashing really, so much so I felt like I was about to explode. At this point hoping that no one says as much as a hello to me or asks me the status of a document because if so they would get an answer full of tears and hard sobs. I give myself a quick pep talk in the restroom, "You can do this, you got this, just make it to 2pm and you're good!" Ok, back to work….. Oh no!! A meeting!? A meeting that all I'm able to do is sit quietly and try to listen to the action items, try to catch up on what I've miss all to no avail. My thoughts are so loud I hear nothing that my coworkers are saying, I can't hear or comprehend any of the words that are coming out of their mouths. I'm realizing at this point I should've stayed home in my bed this morning, I should've kept my boys home from school, told hubby to call in and made today a family skip day.
After coming home early and crying my eyes out some more and having hubby snap me out the spiral of depression I was on my way to, I understand why a support system is so so very important. You need somebody to talk to or somebody to just listen to you or just hold you and wipe your tears away. You need someone to give you time to mope and gripe and then say ok enough is enough now let's get out of here and move forward you can't stay there too long. You need at least one person you can call at anytime who will know exactly what you need just from the sound of your voice or from the read of your text. You may even need a group of friends that you can send a group text to to say meet me at my house in 30 minutes and they will drop whatever they are doing and come running with wine, pizza and movies ready to stay all night.
The reality is it's hard to face life alone people! So many things can and will happen throughout your life span and it's better to go through those things with a sister, brother, mother, friend or spouse. Learn to trust someone other than yourself with all things concerning you, know that their will be times when your trust and faith in that person may be challenge but learn to love and let go because life is definitely too short to dwell on petty issues. Besides who has time to waste on being sad, busted and disgusted?!
Ok, (*wipes brow and sips glass of water*) I will step off my soap box and return my Reality Check Crown to its rightful place!
Love you all,
Crowns Galore
XOXO
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