Get back to You!

Not that I'm naive or stupid or anything but I find it so amazing how different every pregnancy and every child can be. Everyday since the day JV was born has proven to me that I m done procreating. This is not a bad thing at all it's just my simple yet at the same time magnanimous revelation that I just can not go through the process of pregnancy, labor and delivery again. Now unless the Lord has a crazy way of doing things which is not at all too far fetched for my life and it's in His plan and His will for us to do this again and He does it in a way that only He could have done it, I can not let this happen again. 

Now this is not to say that my pregnancy was not a beautiful experience or that my baby is not one of the most special creations that my husband and I have had the luxury to create. It's just the way this pregnancy has set my body up, I'm just not bouncing back quite like I did with the other boys. I mean here I am almost 3 weeks postpartum and still experiencing some pain in my bum area, still having major back pain, my leg and foot cramp up terribly more often than not. And omg my skin is ridiculous, my face looks like I'm back in 7th grade and its school picture day! I don't even want to deal with my own natural hair although time has drawn nigh. And on top of all of this I'm running on about 2 good hours of sleep. I have not mastered the sleep when baby sleeps unless he's sleeping at night. During the day I have so much to do with my big boys or the house or I've been trying to finish this course I started almost a year ago so there's school work, then there's spending big time with Hubby, there is truly not enough me to go around and not enough time in the day to make every thing happen. I didn't have this much going on with the other boys and I swear after a couple weeks I was out and about my busy life as usual without any pain or suffering. 

Trying to get a handle on all of these elements has proven to be a struggle but I'm actually enjoying myself, well I could definitely do without the lack of sleep but other than that, spending time with my family, learning the personality of my littlest one and coming up with new ways to entertain each other since it's summertime and we are all in each other's prescence a little more than we've been used to since school let out. It's hard disciplining yourself to do anything and anything worth having is worth working diligently for so you might as well have as much fun as you can doing so. 

This is just the role of being a mother, you have tons of things to do with little to no time to get everything done. You have to be in twenty different places at the same dang time and are expected to devote your undivided attention to all twenty of those places including the people who are found in each of those very places. You have to be the doctor, the therapist, the judge, the referee if you have boys like me and you are expected to do so on as little of sleep as possible and to not allow your frustrations to take control for fear of damaging hearts and feelings of those around you. If you are also a wife you are expected to cater to your husband's needs emotionally, physically, mentally, and sexually sometimes doing so above your very own. These are things that you do as a mother and wife for the sake of those around you, this doesn't include doing what you need to do for yourself to make sure you are 100% to do all those things.  Which is why oftentimes we as women with husbands and children "let ourselves go" because we are very busy keeping everyone and everything else together that we forget about ourselves. It's great to have  someone in your life who will help keep tabs on you. It can be a close friend, a sibling, a parent, a husband, who ever just someone who you trust and can hear the truth from so when they say hey you need to get a hold of yourself, you won't be offended and you will agree with... Eventually. They may even need to grab you by the shoulders and shake you a few times or to the extreme, slap some sense into you to get you to stop what you are doing drop everything and take a time out. Because how can you effectively give your all to anyone when your all has been depleted. 

As I type this post I talk to myself as I talk to you all, there are definitely some things I need to do to refuel and replenish myself to full in order to truly give my all to my family and those things around me. Even now as I recover from having my child, I need to truly take this time to recover. Do all that I need to do for my physical, mental, emotional and even sexual recovery so that I can be at 100% for my children, my husband, my life. 

For those of us who have lost sight of ourselves at some time in life what have you done to reel yourself back in? Was it a new hair cut, a new wardrobe, meditation, or learning a new craft? What have you done? Your experience can help others and I mean isn't that really why we go through most things, to help someone else get through it unscathed? Let's help each other, empower each other, let each other know that we are not alone and our feelings and frustrations are warranted and are valid even when some say they aren't. Your experience may not be from having a child, it may be from a change in career or even a losing a job what ever it is or however long ago it was let's take some time out to do something for ourselves, something that we will enjoy and get back to replenishing ourselves as mothers, as wives, as women. 

Until Next Time,

Crowns Galore